micherous ground

Maybe there are a few exceptions to the theory, but I truly believe that unless a person is fully aware of his role in the society, he isn’t or won’t be content.

It is proven that humans are social beings. (Duh, you say) It is also proven that humans find happiness (genuine and quiet) happiness in helping others for no reason whatsoever except for the benefit of those other people. So, it is also logical to think that people are happy when they live life for others. So I don’t get that shit about people who complain that their lives are miserable because they are just pursuing whatever their parents/society forced them to.

Because quite truthfully, you chose to do it, at first, for them. The choice was yours, to do that something for your (say,) parents. And then when things get hard, you turn your back and take the least blame on yourself and say, ‘Oh, I never really wanted this anyways, I did it because my parents forced me to’ when you know in the heart of your heart that you made the decision to do it FOR your parents in the beginning, until things got rough and you’re stuck in a rough patch.

Nobody told me that it was going to be hard. And it is. Now I know, but it’s one of those things that you learn by going through the hard way. I am a dogmatic person; sometimes, I let some issues fly by without so much as asking for a confirmation of what the other person’s advocating… but when I care about something or someone, I become so dogmatic that you could actually hear me howl, bark and woof woof under my breath.

And my brother is one of those ‘issues’ I care about. I just wished he would listen. I know I could be more sly and try to trick him into doing what I want him to do, but really I just don’t want to deceive the boy. I want to handle him straight on, with no lies, no bullcrap and just tell him as it is. Turns out he became more confident of his decision in the face of my fury. I should have known better than to treat him like a matured person. I should have known that he was still the sensitive little boy whom I grew up with and therefore now that he is nearing adulthood, he’s a mixture of sensitive and egotistic at the same time.

It’s a hard mixture to live with, much less to advice to. Thank God I don’t live with him, but right now I need to give him an advice. The one thing that I wished someone had given me. (Oh, suddenly I wished I have what Henry DeTamble has and could go back to myself 6 years back and give myself some advice… )

Right at this second, I wish I was home, thrashing it out with my brother. To him I would tell him all the crap in the world, but I would force it down his neck to accept my point of view. Even if he decides something else in the end (that would be unproductive, I know but heck) but at least, he knows where I’m coming from and my perspective. Now after he understands all that crap I have thrown to him and he still decides to pursue his ‘crap’ then I will support him. I will be the number one fan of his decision, but not until he hears me out and debates with me the pros and cons of my suggestion.

Ha! I am digressing. The real point of this post is that, so many people think that they are unhappy with their lives today because somewhere somehow in their life they made a decision based on other’s choice. But truly, if you are one of those people and you want to get rid of the feeling that you’re stuck in your life (which is decided/dictated by someone else) then all you’ve got to do is acknowledge that it was YOU who decided it. You were the one who took ALL those steps to fulfill other’s decisions and make it happen. Now it may not make you happy, but the mere fact that you DID it for another person and you yourself had the exclusive right to CHOOSE to do it for the other person should give you happiness. All I’m saying (in a roundabout) is that, YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN LIFE, even if you feel you are not. It was you who decided to do all these things, unless of course, your parents (or whoever forced you) had rifles stuck to your head when you were making those decisions. But that’s the thing, life isn’t about one decision or two, it’s about all the small decisions you make in your life. It is all the minuted details that makes you unhappy or not.

I’ve met lots of people who are happy today, just because they understand that whatever they chose to do in their life, is for other’s benefit. And that to me, is the best kind of happiness anyone should hope for. At least to try and feel that kind of happiness for a second. Same thing, if you’re stuck, say, doing medicine and you wanted really to do performing arts, then bask in the sunshine with the fact that you sacrificed your heart’s desire for your parent’s happiness/joy/pride. It never hurts to help others. Why should it hurt to make your parents happy?

Have we become so selfish that we can’t make some small concessions to our loved ones? After all, as you grow old, you will find that most of the things you do in life isn’t really for yourself, but for others. And you do that because it’s in our makeup that we find true happiness in making others happy.

So back to the title of this post, if you know you’re God’s servant, you are aware that you are your  mom’s daughter, your brothers’ sister, your sister’s sister, your grandma’s granddaughter, your aunt’s niece, your uncle’s niece and your boyfriend’s girlfriend, you would know what to decide for your own life. It’s easy. Just choose those decisions that would bring happiness to these people. Or the people who you care about most, even if the only person you care most about is the headmaster of your alma mater. It doesn’t matter who you’re trying to please, if the other person comes forward and tells you explicitly that this is what I wish you would do, then just do it for him/her if you care enough for him/her. But of course (and this should go without saying) you work within your own moral codes (triple Duhs!!!).

If what they’re asking is totally immoral, of course don’t follow suit. In the end, it’s about knowing what is your moral code, work within it and try to include people you love and do things for them. Only then will life be meaningful, if it isn’t already.

Til then.